WOMAN QUESTIONS BELIEF THAT THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME
DEAR ABBY: Is it possible -- or normal -- for someone to lack the desire to travel? I am a 23-year-old female college graduate with a good job. I am involved in a serious relationship and still live with my parents because of financial constraints. I like to think my life is pretty normal.
When my friends graduated from college, they all backpacked through Europe before starting their jobs. I was content to stay home, relax and readjust to life off-campus. Now that my friends are accruing vacation time, they are planning all sorts of trips -- cruises, vacations, road trips to visit old roommates, etc. None of this appeals to me.
I am a nervous traveler and tend to feel uncomfortable when I'm outside my "comfort zone." I'm not afraid to admit that I can be uptight, and I don't "roll with the punches" very well.
Last summer my boyfriend and I spent several weekends in a beach town about two hours away. I had a great time, although I was just as happy to go home at the end. I am not depressed or aloof. Give me an afternoon at the local mall or a movie rather than a weekend in Las Vegas. Am I weird? -- HOMEBODY IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR HOMEBODY: Weird? No. However, because of your reluctance to step out of your "comfort zone," you are missing an opportunity to learn firsthand that this country -- and the world around you -- is filled with wonderful people who would be worth knowing if you could only broaden your horizons. If this didn't bother you on some level, you would not have written me. A therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders could help you do that. I wish you good luck -- and maybe even "bon voyage."
Okay, now in the first part of the post, the writer indicates that she is a recent college graduate, and that she is living with her parents due to financial constraints. I would presume that a large component of these financial constraints is probably some hefty student loan debt. As most students are walking out of college with massive debt, I do not believe that assuming that this is at least a part of her burden is an unreasonable assumption on my part.
If she is a typical, debt ridden graduate, her reluctance to spend money that she does not have should not be viewed as a pathology that needs professional intervention to fix her! She is showing a rare maturity, in not being comfortable playing until her obligations are met. After surely being indoctrinated with the entitlement culture drivel that the Baby-Boomers have been spewing for decades now, it is a shock, and a relief to see someone with good sense. In her grandparents', or possibly great grandparents' era, a frugal woman like her would be seen as an asset, not someone suffering from a horrible malady.
Is she supposed to spend tons of money broadening her horizons, only to burden her parents by living with them until she is 50? I'd like to have her parents' input as to whether they would rather her act mature, and responsible, in order to be able to leave their home before they die!
I find Dear Abby's routine encouraging women to be high maintenance revolting! It is this entitlement attitude, with its inerrant lack of delayed gratification sickening. Can't people see that it is exactly this entitlement culture that has led people to carry massive debt, that they cannot repay, and is leading to the collapse of our financial market, and our country? (And not doing the rest of the world many favors either...)
What is wrong with someone who is content with what she has? Put the girl up as a role model, not as a misfit!
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